Looking For Love? Dating Expert Amy Duvall Offers A Few Tips

By Amy Duvall

Photo by Andres Ayrton from Pexels

There is an enormous amount of dating advice available on social media, podcasts, news outlets, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming and even a bit contradictory. I believe in seeking wisdom when it comes to your dating life, but to rely on solid advice backed by social scientific research and experience. I have just that and I’m here to give you my top 10 dating tips for women over 40.

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Tip #1:  Be yourself. Many times we focus on whether or not our potential partners will like us to the extent where we change parts of ourselves to mirror what they might be looking for. This may work for a period of time, but long term we can become miserable if we have to keep up this facade. Be who you are and be completely comfortable with not being for everyone. 

Tip #2: Utilize dating apps! Many women are afraid of dating apps and approach them with the line of reasoning that only “players” use dating apps past the age of 40. While it might be true that some philandering men use dating apps, a lot of high-quality men use apps as well. Think of it as just another avenue for meeting potential partners. 

Tip #3: Which leads me to my next tip, you want to ensure that you’re meeting enough people! Dating is a numbers game. If in a given year, you were to meet 10 new people, what is the likelihood that one of them would be the one for you? But let’s say you were to meet 200 new people? How much more likely would you be to meet someone truly spectacular? You need to ensure that you’re meeting enough people. 

Tip #4: To meet enough people, make sure that you’re not only utilizing dating apps, but also meeting people in person in your everyday life. Go to a different gym, frequent a different bar, or join a meetup group. Many people continue going to the same places hoping to meet someone new. This rarely happens.

Tip #5: And when you do meet someone special in person, you’ll want to put your best foot forward. Taking care of your personal appearance is key to feeling confident. And when you feel confident, you behave in ways that are more desirable. 

Tip #6: You also want to ensure that you’re putting your best foot forward digitally. Your potential dates will reference your online image and social media platforms to get a better sense of who you are and if you’re the type of person they want to date. Ensure that you have a quality bio and profile picture, and are keeping up with your feed on instagram. 

Tip #7: The same is true for your dating apps. You want to find photos that are clear, have good lighting, and convey your personality. Do you like adventure or outdoor activities? Find some photos that convey your interests. Further, find photos that show you smiling. It will make you appear warm and appealing to potential matches. 

Tip #8:  You’ll also want to consider your communication on your apps. Complaining about dating apps or dating in general in your bio is a big no. Sarcastic remarks describing how much you hate online dating only serve to discourage others from engaging with you and make a less than ideal first impression. Bring some positivity to your bio and focus on the good things in your life.

Tip #9: And this should apply to your in-person communication as well. Avoid oversharing or negativity on the first date. You don’t have to tell someone everything about your ex-boyfriend or divorce right out of the gate. Slowly and gradually build that connection and begin with the positive. 

Tip #10: Which leads me to my final tip, have fun! Dating can be a really fun, exciting experience and as a woman over 40 it’s no different. Make the experience of dating a fun part of the journey to your next great love story. 

Bio: Amy Duvall is a Dating Expert with graduate studies in Interpersonal Communication & Relationships and years of experience coaching successful singles on how to find and land the relationships of their dreams. Our goal is to help you develop the wisdom and skills necessary to create and maintain healthy relationships and to get everything you want out of life. Visit amywhispers.com for more information and to enroll in a Masterclass.

About the Author

New York Trend is a weekly news publication that focuses on issues and lifestyles of the African & Caribbean American communities throughout the New York metropolitan area and Nassau and Suffolk Counties of Long Island. It is a respected and well recognized news publication that has been in existence since 1989. Owner, Publisher and Executive Director, Dr. Teresa Taylor Williams has been at the helm of this award-winning publication since its inception. New York Trend continues to be the only black woman-owned, metropolitan newspaper in New York and Long island. New York Trend is the largest black-owned newspaper throughout Nassau and Suffolk counties.