Summer travel can test even the most patient person. From crowded airports and delayed flights to traffic jams and long security lines, the pressure to get somewhere on time can quickly turn a relaxing vacation into a stressful experience.
With a record 72.2 million Americans traveling over the July Fourth weekend and millions more taking summer trips, Alex Snider believes the problem may not simply be the travel itself. It may be our relationship with time.
Snider, a writer, facilitator and meditation teacher, explores the idea in his new book, Sometimes You Should Be Late, released July 7. Drawing on more than 15 years working in high-pressure federal environments, as well as a life-changing bicycle accident, Snider examines how constant urgency can affect the way people behave and interact with one another.
Travel provides a particularly clear example.
When people feel rushed, even ordinary situations can become sources of frustration. A slow-moving security line, a traffic backup or someone taking too long at an airport café can feel like a personal offense when every minute seems important.
But when that pressure disappears, people often behave differently.
Snider points to the contrast between the person who impatiently cuts someone off when running late and the person who willingly lets another driver go first when there is no immediate time pressure. The difference, he argues, may have less to do with personality than with how much space people feel they have.
That makes travel a useful opportunity to rethink how we experience time.
Traffic, for example, can be viewed exclusively as an obstacle or as unexpected time to listen to a podcast, have a conversation or simply slow down. A delayed flight may still be frustrating, but it also creates a moment in which travelers can reconsider the expectation that every part of a trip must unfold according to plan.
Snider encourages people to examine their own “clock” and how it affects those around them.
One exercise involves remembering a time when your pace felt out of sync with other people. Rather than assuming others were moving too slowly, consider what their priorities may have been and how your own urgency affected the interaction.
He also encourages people to remember places where they experienced a different rhythm — whether during childhood summers, travel or a retreat — and consider what made that slower pace appealing.
Another exercise focuses on natural rhythms, including sleep, seasons, children, animals and even sunrise, asking people to consider what happens when they pay attention to those rhythms rather than constantly following schedules.
For Snider, the goal isn’t to eliminate schedules or ignore responsibilities. It is to recognize that not every delay has to become a crisis.
Sometimes, slowing down may be exactly what helps travelers arrive at their destination with their patience — and their relationships — intact.